


It's Complicated (The Werewolf Barista AU)

by verymilkytea



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Comics), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Accidental Knotting, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Crack, Baristas, Children, Crossdressing, Drunkenness, High Heels, Knotting, Loki in high heels, M/M, Parenthood, People taking Tony Stark's Advice, Portrayal Of A Self-Respecting and Badass Sex Worker, Ridiculous Harmless Vampires, Ridiculous Harmless Werewolves, Single Parenthood (sort of…), Single Parents, Soul Bond, Sparklepires, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Stripping, Vampires, Werewolves, adorable children, loki in lingerie, math jokes, men in lingerie, not-dating, public fondling, rudeness, sex in the back room of a strip club
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 06:37:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1103627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verymilkytea/pseuds/verymilkytea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Werewolf barista Thor Odinson is a single father and part-time biology student. One day a mysterious, pale, icy-cold stranger comes into the coffee shop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not so meet cute

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cbomb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cbomb/gifts).



> This is a love letter to fandom. Not just Avengers fandom, but all fandom, everywhere. I’ve been in fandom for 12 years now and in some ways this is the product of all of that time, not just my time in Thor/Avengers fandom. 
> 
> I hope you like it, because this world I have built for you is ridiculous. I went with Twilightish vampires, and Teenwolfish werewolves. But it’s my belief that if people were really werewolves and vampires, Big Pharma would be all over that, so in this world lycanthropy is managed by taking a little pill every day (it fixes a problem you have once a month, ha ha) and vampirism is mostly managed by regular injections. For some reason I thought that would be cute. It also absolved me of having to write about any serious complications from their supernatural identities, so thank god for that. One’s protagonists cannot be wandering around feeding on the innocent all the time in a romcom. So yes, it's crack. But it has a heart of gold.
> 
> Thank you to my excellent beta frabjous.

 

 

It was the first properly cold morning of autumn when the stranger came into the coffee shop. Thor had only just finished wiping everything down and affixed the hand-drawn sign to the door that said "The 'Tree Of Life' Is Open". In all honesty, he had not thought too far beyond making himself a cappuccino. But it was always nice to see new customers.

He was sure he had never served this person before, although, admittedly, he could not really see their face - which was hidden behind a pair of large sunglasses. The stranger was tall, almost as tall as Thor, but much thinner and so pale it looked as though he rarely saw daylight. He wore black leggings and a grey pullover that looked very soft and downy, and he was carrying an oversized leather bag.

Thor thought the leggings were a little much. But then again, people said that about Thor's long hair, so perhaps he was in no place to judge. And although the stranger did not look especially masculine in his leggings, he was definitely pulling off the look.

"Good morning," Thor said cheerily. "What can I get you?"

"A long macchiato," the stranger said, sounding as though he rather doubted Thor's abilities in coffee-making and in general. The stranger did not say please, or make any attempts at politeness.

"Three fifty, thanks," Thor said, shrugging it off as early morning grumpiness. The stranger then proceeded to produce coins from a sleek black wallet that likely cost more than Thor's car. Then he leaned back with a faint imperiousness and watched Thor make his coffee.

The only thing to counter this stranger's attitude, Thor decided, was to produce for him the most unquestionably excellent long macchiato on the face of the earth. He had been concentrating so hard on this task that it was only when he set the shot glass down in front of the stranger that he noticed he had lit a cigarette. Thor was surprised; the "No Smoking" sign was plainly visible, and also hand-written (by Thor).

"There's no smoking in here," Thor said firmly, gesturing to the sign.

"Bite me," the stranger said caustically. Then he downed his coffee and left the shop in what could only be described as a flounce.

 

******

 

He came back though. Two days later, around the same time. He must be a morning person, Thor decided, although he did not really seem like one. Thor himself was happy to be up early, which was lucky, because now he was looking after Tomas on his own. He and Sif had split amicably, but when Sif had been selected for the Olympic judo team, they’d agreed Tomas should stay with Thor for this year.

"You still can't smoke in here," Thor said, as he set down the cup of coffee and saw that the stranger was lighting a cigarette.

"No-one appreciates vice anymore," the stranger complained, sighing dramatically. He did not put the cigarette out.

"Seriously," Thor said, not taking the bait, "Its an OHS thing, you really can't smoke here." He folded his arms across his chest.

The stranger smiled a little viciously. "Or what?"

"Well," Thor considered the situation, "official policy says I have to call campus security. But I don’t think that would be necessary." The guy wasn't even half Thor's size; he looked about 130 pounds soaking wet. It wouldn't be difficult.

“Oh, veiled threats, my favorite,” came the mocking reply. He didn’t seem fazed at all by Thor. Thor wondered if maybe he had misjudged the situation; doing martial arts had taught him that a lot of small, wirey guys were lethal. The stranger might not have been overly masculine, but he was muscular; you could see that plainly enough thanks to the leggings. Still, Thor was pretty confident he could take him.

The stranger put his cigarette out in the empty glass, scooped up his enormous bag from the floor, and stalked out of the coffee shop without another word. Thor watched him go with some relief. Thor didn't really understand how a customer he'd met twice could become the bane of his life, but this one had been exceptionally rude and it annoyed him every time he thought about it. Which was often.Then he became aware that he was staring. But really, it was not Thor’s fault that the bane of his life had really fantastic legs.

 

******

 

Thor had thought for sure that would be the end of this guy, but the stranger was back again the following week. This demonstrated, in Thor’s opinion, his own considerable skill at making coffee because it certainly could not be attributed to anything else. He really hoped things were not going to escalate. Over the years, Thor had come to learn that while violence was enjoyable, it rarely solved anything. So no matter how much this guy deserved a smack in the mouth, Thor was not going to be the one who administered it.

He was a little later than usual though, and by that time there were a few other students in the coffee shop. Thor was starting to take their names with their orders just to keep track.

“Long macchiato,” said the stranger without preamble when he reached the front of the line.

“Name?” Thor said automatically, snagging the pen from where it had rolled under the cash register.

“Loki.” Either it was Thor's imagination or he was oddly reticent about giving out his name.Well, whatever it was, it was not Thor’s problem.

By the time Thor got around to making Loki’s coffee, the crowd had thinned a little. He was relieved that Loki had made no attempt to smoke indoors this morning - though Thor had moved the No Smoking sign to a position of greater prominence just in case.

When Thor brought over the coffee, Loki had spread his many scarves and various possessions out on a table in the corner. He wore sunglasses perched on top of his head, and his eyes were incredibly green and his lashes were impossibly long. This whole situation was ridiculous, face-wise. Loki could not possibly have those eyelashes naturally. That was silly.

“Are those your real eyelashes?” he blurted out, and then had to stop himself from clapping his hand over his mouth. Loki raised an eyebrow.

“Yes.” He said slowly.

“Really?” he asked, and the question just popped out of his mouth despite the mortified feeling settling in his stomach.

“No, you idiot, I’m wearing mascara.”

Loki ordered a second macchiato and drank it in pointed silence.

 

******

 

When Loki showed up at the crack of dawn the next Monday, Thor was expecting him.

“Long macchiato?” he asked by way of greeting. Loki seemed taken aback, maybe annoyed that Thor had presumed him to be so predictable.

“Er, yes,” he said. His tone was a little less frosty than usual. They stood in silence for a moment while Thor tamped the shot. Thor was trying to concentrate, but-- boy, had Loki always smelled that good or was it just today? He smelled sort of like green tea and spices. This was very unfair. It was really not Thor’s fault if Loki smelled so good. He could hardly be blamed for noticing.

"Did you vote in the student union elections?" Thor asked, desperate to make conversation after what now felt like an awkwardly forward gesture on his part.

"Oh, absolutely," Loki said, "Nothing's more important than student representation."

"Really?" Thor had not been expecting that; Loki did not seem like the type at all.

"No, of course not, you tedious moron," he rolled his eyes.

“Are you even a student here?” Thor said, changing tack a little defensively.

“Are you?”

“Part time, only,” Thor said, setting Loki’s coffee down on the counter. "What's your major?" he asked, hoping to keep the conversation going in this relatively harmless direction, free from sarcasm and nastiness, and definitely not devolving into threats of violence.

Loki inspected his cuticles like he was bored. "Math, Chemistry and Classics."

"Which one is your major?" Thor said, confused.

"Triple major." Loki flashed him a sharp, self-satisfied smile.

It was probably because of this little victory that Loki deigned ask about Thor's major. Regardless, Thor decided, at least now they were having an actual conversation. "Biology," Thor told him, and seeing the blank look in Loki’s face, added, "Just biology."

He thought it might be a bit childish to mention that he had a generous sport scholarship. Anyhow, he wasn't ashamed of having only one major. He really liked biology, and with Taekwondo club taking up hours every day, and the rest of his life dedicated to raising his son Tomas, he didn’t have time for much else.

There was also the werewolf thing, but that was only once a month and pretty manageable with the pills. Anyhow, Steve and the rest of the pack sometimes helped with babysitting, so Thor supposed that these things evened out.


	2. Come here often?

It was unusually sunny - though still very cold - the next time Loki swept into the coffee shop. He looked wretched. He had pulled his hood over his head and wound several grey scarves around his neck and the lower half of his face. With the sunglasses covering the top half of his face as well, he gave the impression of a ballerina turned to a life of crime.

Loki deposited himself at a corner table and began to unwind his many scarves. On closer inspection - not that Thor was staring or anything - Loki looked tired. When he removed his sunglasses to give Thor his coffee order, Thor noticed dark circles under his eyes. Thor also thought there was makeup stuff on top of them to make them look alright. It hadn’t worked entirely: Loki still looked frail and spectral, if you took a proper look.

When Thor brought Loki his coffee, he also placed a cinnamon doughnut on a napkin. He wasn’t entirely sure what made him do it, and didn’t really wish to interrogate his own motives for long. It wasn’t the first time he’d brought someone who looked half-dead a consolatory pastry. He was just concerned about a regular customer, that was all.

Loki eyed the doughnut suspiciously.

"I am not putting that in my body," he said, sounding affronted.

"No-one appreciates vice anymore," Thor said, grinning. He noticed that Loki had flushed a delicate pink. From the way Loki was looking at him, Thor didn’t think this blushing was due entirely to the embarrassment of being teased, or having his own words thrown back at him.

With much restraint, Thor did not say anything when Loki ate the donut without further comment. Loki’s cultivated air of indifference did not seem quite so convincing now. It was probably because he was spilling cinnamon sugar on his jeggings.

*******

After the doughnut incident, Loki became much more companionable. If Thor had known that he could bribe Loki to be nice with sweet things, he would’ve started with that tactic much earlier. Not that Loki was *nice*, exactly. But he came in three times a week, and then four, and then he was just around often enough that Thor was starting to feel like he was part of the place. He stopped complaining when Thor gave him pastries, and even stopped pretending not to like them.

Loki even consented to engage Thor in conversation most mornings, and he also stopped calling Thor an idiot unless he really deserved it. Well, Thor didn’t think that not knowing the story of Perseus and the Gorgon was such a grave crime, but Loki had seemed to be in a bad mood that morning, so Thor had let it slide.

Sometimes, when the coffee shop wasn’t busy, they wiled away whole mornings together. Loki often spread his books out to study, but he was easy to distract with questions about Athenian democracy, or proof by induction. Loki was good at telling stories, and anything could become a story in Loki’s hands: Kronecker’s bitter disdain for Cantor’s set theory, the problems with Cassius Dio’s pompous and heavily moralised histories, and Loki’s own tragic vendetta with one of the chemistry lecturers whom he despised. All of these tales, Thor suspected, were slightly embellished. It didn’t make them any less enjoyable.

*******

Contrary to popular belief, Thor was not an idiot. He noticed the way Loki looked at him when he thought Thor wasn’t paying attention. When Loki took off his huge sunglasses to drink his coffee, for just a moment he would look steadily up at Thor from under his long lashes. Thor also knew there were other coffee shops around, and that Loki was busy, but he kept coming back anyway, sometimes twice a day. Yes, Thor’s espresso was good, but the shop was out of the way for most of Loki's schedule, and - Thor grudgingly admitted - there were other places to get a good expresso fix. No: Loki had it bad for him, and Thor knew it.

Thor was not entirely sure why Loki was interested in him, because Loki seemed to dislike everything except large sunglasses, dead Greeks and algebraic geometry. But he wasn’t about to question it either. Loki was stunning, so gorgeous that a guy would have to be zero on the Kinsey scale to not notice it -- and even then, Thor thought, those cheekbones would pose a serious threat to anyone’s heterosexuality and indeed to heterosexuality in general.

Because of Loki, Thor now went around intervening in discussions about leggings not being pants, not only because leggings were pants, but also because what if Loki got wind of this bizarre controversy and stopped wearing leggings every day? Thor would be most displeased.

Thor started washing his hair with actual shampoo and conditioner, and combing it until it shone. He had preened a little the first time, when Loki had definitely noticed. In fact, Loki kept sneaking glances out of the corner of his eye, apparently thinking Thor could not tell what he was doing because of his giant sunglasses and generally grouchy demeanor.

Thor looked forward to work in a way he had not done in a long time. Thor didn’t want to admit it, but his life was a little exhausting. He had taken on his responsibilities gladly, but that did not mean they didn’t weigh on him. Sometimes, it was nice to have someone to banter with, someone to whom he owed nothing, someone with whom he interacted purely because he liked to. He wanted to see more of Loki. He knew Loki wanted to see more of him, too.

The question was, what was Thor going to do about it? He knew it would be up to him. Loki might have been smarter than Thor, but he was absolutely useless at this kind of thing - Thor could just tell. If he waited for Loki to ask for his number, they would be here until they graduated with nothing between them but sexual tension and long macchiatos.

Well, not on Thor’s watch.

*******

The only way to do this was quickly, Thor decided. The next time he saw Loki, he would ask him out. There was nothing to be gained by waiting. Thor sincerely doubted Loki was going to warm up to him anymore than he already had.

But Loki didn’t show up the next Monday - this was unusual, but Thor supposed Loki’s visits were always a little erratic. But he was there on Tuesday and by the time the morning coffee rush was over, Loki was sequestered in the corner, his things spread over the small table and his nose in a book about number theory.

Thor sat down in the chair opposite him. Loki raised an eyebrow at him, then went on reading. There was nothing for it but to ask, Thor decided. Directness was always the best approach.

“Hi,” Thor said.

“Hi,” Loki said, not looking up. This was usual, so Thor decided to press on.

“Come here often?” Thor joked. Loki gave him a look of disapproval over the top of his book. Well, fine. Loki liked to pretend he was unflappable, but Thor knew he could get a reaction out of him if he wanted to. In fact, he had a feeling he was about to prove it.

“Would you like to go out sometime?” Thor said.

Loki’s head jerked up. He stared at Thor in surprise for several moments.

“Are you asking me on a date?” he said, quickly schooling his face into a more neutral expression.

“Yes,” Thor said, holding his gaze.

“I don’t date,” Loki said waspishly, pursing his lips.

“Everybody dates,” Thor said.

“Not all of us have time to constantly indulge our baser natures,” Loki sniffed.

“Loki,” Thor said, trying interrupt before he could start declaiming about the life of the mind or whatever. He put his hand over Loki’s hand on the table. Loki looked at Thor’s hand for a moment, but did not shake it off.

This made Thor feel happy, so he forged ahead. “Alright, let’s try this: what if I promise that it’s not a date? We can just go somewhere together and get to know each other better. What about that?”

Loki appeared to consider the offer. “Okay. But I have conditions: No cafes, no restaurants, no movies, no mini-golf, no bowling alleys, no walks on the beach, no walks in the park," - Thor opened his mouth to protest politely but Loki wasn't even taking a moment to breathe - " no ice skating, no boats, no outdoor activities of any kind, no theatre, no art galleries, no wine bars, no live music of any description, no carnivals, no state fairs, and no other occasions of culturally-mandated merriment,” Loki finished, looking very satisfied with himself.

“But that doesn’t leave anything!” Thor said indignantly.

“Oh dear, that is unfortunate,” Loki said with an air of mock dismay, turning back to his book. Thor glared at him for a moment, then grinned.

“I will find something for us to do,” he promised.

“You can try,” Loki said disdainfully. Thor smiled. Loki really had no idea how stubborn Thor could be when he wanted something. Not yet, anyway.


	3. Take me out

It took Thor a week to think of something to do with Loki that wouldn’t violate one of his conditions. He was reading Tomas a bedtime story (Cat Balloon, for the fifteenth time) when a brilliant idea came to him. Thor was not in the habit of experiencing flashes of inspiration, so he was extraordinarily proud of himself. He really couldn’t wait to let Loki know. He was pretty sure Loki had been banking on Thor not thinking of anything.

On further thought, it might be nice for it to be surprise.

“I thought of something for us to do,” Thor said, as he handed Loki his coffee the following Thursday. “Are you free tomorrow afternoon?”

“You did not,” Loki scowled.

“I did,” Thor said proudly.

“I don’t believe you,” Loki said, crossing his arms.

“Suck it up and deal.” Thor said. “So, are you free tomorrow afternoon?”

Loki scowled harder. “Whatever. Yes, I’m free. Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise! Just meet me here tomorrow at 2,” Thor said, almost bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“I hate surprises!” Loki said crossly, which was clearly a lie, but Thor let him get away with it.

Despite his apparent anger, Loki turned up on time the next day. Thor was no longer surprised by the complete dissonance between what Loki said and did. He was simply happy to see him. They set out from the cafe without much preamble; Loki evidently still resentful at having their destination kept secret.

The day was overcast, and Thor zipped his jacket up as they walked through the neighbourhood just east of campus. It was a great area; arty but not snobby. Thor would have liked to live nearby, but he couldn’t afford the rent. Still, strolling through the leafy streets was enjoyable. As they walked down a lane with a long line of little cafes and stores, Thor noted that Loki was not even scowling anymore.

“We’re here,” Thor said, grabbing Loki’s hand to stop him. They were standing in front of a store painted dark green; windows filled with stacks of books.

“A bookstore?” Loki sounded genuinely surprised. Thor nodded.

“I can’t believe I forgot to veto this….” Loki murmured as Thor reluctantly let go of his hand to usher them both inside.

Thor had only been in here a few times, and had no great affinity for bookstores. This one always seemed to him larger on the inside than on the outside, which made it at least somewhat interesting. But he had guessed that Loki, who never went anywhere without books in his bag, would love this place. Loki was looking around with a sort of mesmerised happiness on his face, which Thor assumed was only because he had forgotten to conceal it.

“Oh, you do not hate surprises!” Thor said, looking at the way the tips of Loki’s ears had gone pink. It was unbearably sweet. Loki’s body was so bad at keeping secrets.

“No, I do,” Loki said belatedly, without much force.

They made their way through the bookstore, here and there Loki would stop to comment on a book or inform Thor of some fact about an author. Loki seemed to be immensely enjoying his role as chief storyteller, and Thor didn’t mind. In fact, he was feeling pretty smug about the whole thing.

“So what do you do for fun?” Thor asked, during a lull in the conversation. They had wandered into the cooking section.

“Oh, you know, normal things. Sometimes I like to dismantle a ball into finitely many small pieces and then reassemble the pieces to form two balls each identical to the original.”

“What?” Thor said, shaking his head to see if that would make that sentence more comprehensible. It did not. “You mean, a magic trick?”

“I mean math homework,” Loki said, smiling mischievously. “It’s no trick - well, if you accept certain axioms of set theory. It’s a theorem in algebraic geometry.”

Thor goggled at him. “You can’t really do it, right?”

“You can, on paper,” Loki said. “It was a joke.” He looked very pleased with himself, evidently for having confused Thor.

“What is the point of a joke if only you understand it?” Thor said in wonder, bumping his shoulder against Loki’s on purpose.

“The point of the joke is that only I understand it,” Loki said with great satisfaction, bumping Thor back, also on purpose. Thor thought this to be very silly indeed, so he made Loki explain the theorem to him as they wandered around the bookshop. He did not fully understand it, but he thought he got the general idea, which was pretty cool.

They wiled away most of the afternoon in the bookshop. Thor wished to stay longer, but he had to pick Tomas up from kindergarten at 5. On the way out, Loki bought himself a biography of Alan Turing.

“So,” Thor said casually, as he walked Loki to the bus stop, “If this were a date, I’d ask if I could kiss you now. But since it’s not a date, I guess I have to leave it here.”

Loki gave him a sly look. “It doesn’t have to be a date for you to kiss me.”

“No, I think it does,” Thor said stoically. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me. I don’t want you to think I go around kissing just anyone.”

“I know you think you’re being terribly clever,” Loki said, “But I can see what you’re doing, and it’s not going to work.”

“I am just making sure that nobody’s honour is impugned nor virtue compromised,” Thor said, trying to sound lofty.

“Oh for god’s sake, shut up,” Loki said, grabbed him by the back of the neck, and kissed him.

Thor kissed him back with enthusiasm. Loki’s mouth was warm, his body pressed deliciously against Thor. Thor kissed him harder, pushed his tongue into his mouth, drawing a little sound from Loki. Loki clasped his hands behind Thor’s neck as Thor’s hands settled on his waist. They bumped noses trying to get closer, then kissed again, Loki’s tongue pushing back against Thor’s.

Eventually, regretfully, Thor had to break the kiss so he could breathe and then leave and pick up Tomas and be a responsible adult and things.

“It’s still not a date,” Loki said, breathing hard into his mouth, looking flushed and beautiful. Thor laughed. At this point, he did not really care what it was called.

******

 

“So, how about a second not-date?” Thor dropped himself onto the bench next to Loki, who was scribbling equations in a ratty-looking exercise book. His handwriting was awful. Thor found this endearing.

“Don’t be cute,” Loki said sourly.

“Can’t help it,” Thor said, grinning.

“I told you, I don’t date,” Loki said, trying not to look charmed. But Thor was pretty sure he was wearing Loki down on this. He was very charming, after all.

“I wasn’t asking for a date,” Thor said cheerfully. Loki put the book down with a sigh.

“You were lucky you thought of one place that met all my conditions. There is no way you can think of another.”

“I don’t have to. There are 135 bookstores in this city. That is an awful lot of not-dates.”

“That’s cheating, and I won’t have it,” Loki sniffed.

“You told me the other day that you respect cheating!” Thor said, outraged.

“I said I respect it if you get away with it,” Loki said, relishing his own pedantry. “It’s one thing if you sneak it by me, but you didn’t. You announced it, so you got caught, so now I’m vetoing it. Lift your game.”

Thor cursed Loki under his breath, but vowed that he would think of something. He was sure there had to be something. He knew the local bottle shop had wine tastings sometimes, but he suspected that would be counted as a “wine bar” and thus vetoed. Discarding this idea with some regret, he was stumped for a good few days.

He had his second brainwave as he was making macaroni and cheese for Tomas after Taekwondo training. Thor could not ever remember being this devious before in his life, but then, perhaps Loki was rubbing off on him.

Admittedly, Thor was currently going through a dry spell and the possibility of having sex with Loki was a great motivator. It had been more than a year now. And that kiss at the bus stop had been incredibly good. Thor hadn’t expected that being desperate for sex would awaken his creative thinking skills. But then again, perhaps it was not so strange - Sif had been fond of saying that necessity was the mother of all invention. 

It was raining hard the next Monday, and Loki was soaking when he came into the shop, apparently having forgotten his umbrella. He looked like a wet cat, and seemed to be about twice as angry. Thor grimaced in sympathy, and fetched him a towel from the store room. Loki took it without a thank you and began to peel off his sodden layers and mop himself up.

Thor had other customers to attend to, but he allowed himself sneaky looks in Loki’s direction every once in awhile. Loki’s penchant for layering had been a help here; the thin, stretchy shirt he wore under everything was dry enough. It was really thin though, and Loki must have been cold, because Thor could see the little points of Loki’s nipples through it. It was very distracting.

When he had a moment to spare, he went over to Loki’s table.

“Forgot your umbrella?” Thor said sympathetically, setting coffee and a hot croissant down in front of him.

“No, I left it at home on purpose, what the fuck do you think?” Loki snapped.

“Easy, tiger,” Thor said, putting his hands up and backing away a little. “It happens to everyone.”

“Stop talking,” Loki said, furiously scrubbing at his wet hair with the towel.

“Drink your coffee,” Thor said, a little irritable himself now. “You’ll feel a lot better.” Loki glared at him, but complied. He even ate the croissant, in small, furtive bites. Maybe he thought Thor had forgotten about him in the corner. When the rain had passed, he gathered up his things and headed for the door.

“Hey,” Thor said as Loki passed the counter. Loki did not look happy to be stopped, but he did anyway. “Are you free on Wednesday night?”

“Yes,” Loki said, looking as though he sincerely wished he were not.

“I thought of somewhere for us to go,” Thor said.

Loki narrowed his eyes. “Where?” he demanded, evidently suspecting Thor would take him to another bookshop.

“The student union is running cooking classes, and I thought it’d be fun to go together,” Thor said.

“That sounds hideously awful,” Loki said. “But I can’t deny it’s within the rules. Fine.” He sighed, sounding put-upon. He lingered for a moment at the counter, looking uncertain. Thor was not used to this tentativeness, especially given the previous outburst. But then again, Loki’s moods did change quickly.

“I’m surprised you thought of that,” Loki admitted finally, looking at Thor with thoughtful eyes.

Thor flushed happily at this grudging admission of respect. Feeling bold, he leaned over the counter and kissed Loki on the cheek. “See you later,” he said. Loki left looking decidedly more charitable to the world than when he’d arrived.

As it turned out, the student union cooking class was hideously awful. Neither Thor nor Loki managed to make sufficiently flaky pastry, nor did they really understand what seitan was or how to cook it. All of this, Loki insisted, was due to poor instruction and an amateur culinary set-up. But Loki had smiled at Thor several times, which made the whole thing completely worthwhile.

On their walk to the bus stop, they stopped now and then to kiss on street corners. Thor tried very hard to be gentlemanly and chaste, but Loki evidently had other ideas. He kissed Thor with abandon, wet and messy and lush. He licked into Thor’s mouth, and when Thor returned the gesture he sucked enthusiastically on Thor’s tongue, at which point Thor decided to stop trying to be a gentleman, and it all promptly went to hell. Thor had both hands on Loki’s magnificent ass before he’d really thought about it,and Loki rocked up against him. Thor didn’t really know how Loki could do that full-body press against him without unbalancing them both, but it was glorious, and he never wanted it to stop.

“This is still not a date,” Loki said firmly, disentangling their limbs and kissing Thor goodnight at the bus stop.

“Whatever you say,” Thor said smugly.

It totally was.

******

 

Thor liked a lot of things about Loki. He liked his quick wit and cleverness, and his willingness to say exactly what he thought most of the time, and the fact that he seemed to change his appearance almost as quickly as he changed his mood. This morning, Loki’s nails were painted black and he had a lot of eyeliner and lip gloss on, which was a great look on him. Well, Thor had to admit he thought anything would have been a good look on Loki.

“How’s it going?” Thor asked, trying act casual and to not stare.

“Fine,” Loki said, sipping his espresso. Thor dropped into the seat next to him. His break was only 15 minutes and he intended to make the most of it.

“So, word on the street is you’re jerking some guy around? Making out with him at bus stops, but refusing to go on dates with him. Very concerning behaviour.” Thor said.

“I’m ignoring this,” Loki announced, waving his hand in a circle to indicate he was referring to Thor in general.

“I’m just concerned about your wellbeing,” Thor said.

“I can’t hear you,” Loki said.

“This poor guy probably really likes you,” Thor said.

Loki did not say anything, but he smiled despite himself. To get Loki to smile at nine in the morning was so great a victory that Thor felt it called for celebration. He put a hand on Loki’s shoulder and leaned in to kiss him, and Loki kissed him back. His lip gloss tasted a little fruity, and it was coming off on Thor’s lips, which Thor found he liked. They kissed lazily for a little while.

When they broke apart, Loki said, out of nowhere, “Some things on the veto list were just to annoy you. I actually like galleries and theatre and wine. But some are there for a reason. I hate culturally-mandated fun. I hate bowling. I hate mini-golf. I don’t…it’s not that I object so much to what we call it when we go out, I just don’t want to do those things.”

“I don’t want you to do things you don’t want to do,” Thor said sincerely, even though he loved bowling and mini-golf. He was a little mournful at the idea that Loki felt he needed a list to make sure they didn’t happen. Loki scrunched up his nose at this display of sappiness.

“I don’t mind us dating,” Loki said. He shot Thor a look that plainly communicated he realised this contradicted what he had said earlier.

“I’m very glad to hear that,” Thor said with false solemnity. He curled a hand around Loki’s waist, and was delighted when Loki leaned into him. “Because we completely are.”

******

Loki came in the next Thursday looking unusually rosy and windswept. “Hey gorgeous,” Thor said, by way of hello. It was the end of Thor’s shift. Thor was beginning to suspect Loki had his shifts memorised. It was very creepy and flattering.

“No pet names!” Loki said snippily, but leaned over the counter to kiss Thor anyway.

“Would you like to go for a walk?” Thor asked, pulling off his apron as Darcy came to take over his shift. Loki looked up at the sky before responding - it was a rather gloomy and overcast day. But Thor liked this kind of weather. Well, Thor liked virtually any kind of weather, but he had a fondness for bad weather. If he had been a poetic sort of guy, he would have thought of some literary way to draw a parallel to his fondness for Loki.

“I would,” Loki said, surprising him. Thor supposed that it was walks in the park or beach, rather than walking itself, that Loki objected to.

They walked a little with their hands in their pockets, until Loki took his hands out and left them loose at his sides. Thor took this to be an invitation, and reached out to take Loki’s hand in his. Thor wondered if this was a little too cheesy for Loki, but he thought Loki seemed comfortable enough with it. Thor rubbed his thumb over Loki’s knuckles, and Loki squeezed his fingers tight in return.

The sky was clearing up a little by the time they decided they’d had enough, and sat down on a bench. Every now and then a little bit of sun shone through the clouds. The sunshine made Loki look completely, impossibly radiant, in Thor’s opinion. Thor suspected he should keep this sappy opinion to himself.

“How are your classes going?” Thor asked, leaning back on his arms.

Loki shrugged. “Oh, you know. Fine. Busy. I should be able to maintain my average; preparation is the essence. I had a paper due last week, but luckily I got time off work, so it was fine.”

“Oh, where do you work?” Thor asked, although he was aware that he was asking a lot of questions and probably seemed overeager. There was a slight pause. Thor noticed Loki’s shoulders had tensed up.

“I do sex work, mostly,” he said. His tone suggested that he expected this to be no big deal and also that Thor could fuck right off if he thought it was a big deal. Thor did not think it was a big deal.

“That’s cool,” he said, trying to convey that it was, in fact, all cool. “What kind of sex work? I mean, if you want to tell me,” he amended. Loki rummaged around in his bag for a while.

“Oh, you know. Stripping, sometimes live sex shows, and brothel work when I get shifts.” Was it just Thor's imagination or did Loki sound relieved? As if to make his point, Loki pulled out a pair of glossy black stiletto heels, and showed them to Thor with a mock solemnity. “Someone has to keep me in McQueen, after all.”

Thor looked at the shoes and thought that, indeed, someone certainly had to keep Loki in those preferably at all times and within Thor’s line of sight.

“Is that why you carry that huge bag around?” He said. Loki nodded.

“And why I ever drag myself to your godforsaken coffee shop at the crack of dawn - sometimes I have a shift that ends at three and a class that starts at eight thirty, so I just don’t sleep.” Seeing Thor’s obvious surprise, he added, “What, you didn’t think I was actually a morning person, did you?”

******

Some days, Loki sat in the cafe until closing time, working on assignments or making notes. Even though he was usually a constant source of snide remarks, Thor liked having Loki’s presence in the corner all afternoon. It was nice to have someone to chat with while he cleaned the machine and put everything back in its place. Today was one such day, although today was a little special, because Thor had a babysitter, and a plan.

“So I was thinking,” Thor began.

“You should leave that to me,” Loki interjected without looking up from his textbook (the chapter title said something about lies and algebra). Thor ignored this comment.

“You’ve been going at that same chapter for the last week. I’ve been covering for Jane’s shifts while she visits her Uncle Reed, and fielding calls from my Dad about when I’m going to graduate. We need some time out,” he said sagely.

Loki looked up. “I’m listening.”

Thor produced two bottles of wine from his backpack. “I think we should sit here and drink these until we can’t produce proper sentences and then we will feel better about life.”

“You can’t produce proper sentences even when you’re sober,” Loki pointed out. But he was smiling. “Still, this is a good plan. I’m in. Got a corkscrew?”

“It’s still half an hour ‘til closing time,” Thor said, checking the clock on the wall.

“Oh come on, it’s been dead all afternoon,” Loki said, rolling his eyes. “And if someone does come in, think of it as a chance to see if Drunk Thor makes good espresso.”

That sounded fair enough, and Thor was feeling tired and kind of over-worked in general, and maybe it would be fine. “You’re a terrible influence,” he said, and went to get the corkscrew.

Loki grinned, “This was your idea!”

“Yes it was,” Thor said happily. He got them two water glasses - there was nothing fancier than that around the coffee shop - uncorked the first bottle and sat down opposite Loki at the table. He poured them both the first glass, and they drank it mostly while complaining about their respective parents. There was an unspoken competition developing about whose father was more unreasonable and difficult to deal with. This all felt very good, and Thor poured them both a second (bigger) glass.

By the time they moved on to the second bottle, Loki had admitted that he owned every Spice Girls CD, and Thor had told him the story of the time Sif had to dress him up to pass as a girl to get him into a club when they were 17.

“No, no, no, I’m not having this. You’re telling me the bouncer let you in just because you put on lipstick and a skirt? I don’t buy it,” Loki said, pouring them another glass. He poured Thor a lot more than he poured for himself.

“Hey, I resent that! I totally passed! I was smaller then and also I shaved my beard and I was wearing a skirt, and hey —” he said, noticing the disparity in the wine situation, “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

Loki laughed, raising an eyebrow suggestively, “Why? Do I need to?”

“Nope,” Thor said, leaning over the table to kiss him. Loki kissed him back easily, opening his mouth for Thor’s tongue. Then Loki brought his hands up to either side of Thor’s face and started kissing him in earnest. Thor shut his eyes, feeling lightheaded in a way that had nothing to do with wine. Loki kissed along Thor’s jaw, and then back to his mouth, sliding his tongue inside. It was starting to be just slightly intolerable to have the table between them.

Thor breathed deeply when they broke apart.

“Clearly,” Loki said smugly. “Actually, I want to be mostly sober on my shift. I’m starting at 10 tonight.” Loki gave him a little smile and took another sip of wine.

Thor nodded understandingly. “I can drink more then,” he offered.

“My hero,” Loki said, then leaned in for another kiss.


	4. Enter the kid

One Friday, Loki came in looking distinctly more domesticated than usual. Thor couldn’t figure out what it was; his hair was the same, he was wearing a fairly routine black sweater with little studs on it which had probably cost a fortune, black leggings, and--

“Are you wearing Ugg boots?” Thor said in surprise. Loki grimaced.

“I was breaking new heels in last night. My feet are wrecked. Of course I’m wearing Ugg boots,” he said haughtily, a tone which Thor had come to realise meant Loki felt insecure.

“You have to break heels in?” This was just getting more and more surprising and informative.

“Most of the time,” Loki said absently. Then he perked up, looking at Thor. “Why do you care?”

“I’m just interested!” Thor said quickly, since Loki was prone to suspicion. “I just want to know about what you do!”

Loki looked at him mischievously. “Want to see me in heels, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, duh,” Thor said, brushing right past Loki’s mocking use of a pet name. He hoped it wasn’t creepy to say that he did. But surely the high heels were supposed to be sexy, in which case he was only being supportive and affirming Loki’s choices. Supportive! And honest. Two great things!

“Mmm, but you’ll have to earn it,” Loki said. The look in his eyes and the curve of his mouth made Thor want to earn it very badly.

“I am so into this,” Thor announced to the world in general.

******

Thor had not always been as chill as he was now, but he had always believed that relationships worked best when nobody was trying to change anybody else. Apparently, Loki did not subscribe to this particular brand of interpersonal zen.

Loki was always fussing with Thor’s clothes or suggesting he change his takeout order. They would be out on a date and then all of a sudden, Loki would say, “I think you should wear your hair out of the ponytail.” Then he would simply reach up and remove Thor’s hair elastic without further discussion. If he was feeling especially mulish, Loki would order some strange new kind of food for them to share at a restaurant even when Thor said he didn’t want it. Thor was surprised to find that this did not annoy him - most of the time, he thought it was kind of adorable.

“I think you should plait your hair,” Loki said, when Thor was sharing coffee with him after his shift was over. “It’s time for a change. Don’t worry, it’ll look very masculine.” He maneuvered their seats so that he was positioned behind Thor and began to plait his hair without asking. This, actually, Thor never complained about; he very much liked having his hair touched.

“You are the most demanding boyfriend I have ever had, and I dig it completely.” Thor said, before he thought about what he was saying. His heart sank when he realised. They hadn’t discussed what to call each other yet.

Loki momentarily stilled, then composed himself and continued with the plait. Thor wished he could turn around and see Loki’s face, but he resisted the urge.

“You are the least demanding boyfriend I have ever had,” Loki said mildly, after a while. Thor felt something swell in his chest. He’d expected Loki to play it cool - even the reciprocation of the term was more than he’d hoped for. “And I dig it completely,” Loki finished. The edge of mockery in his voice was very faint indeed.

When he was done with the plait, Loki leaned over and kissed Thor lazily on the mouth.

“This doesn’t mean I’m going to turn into Mary Sunshine or anything,” Loki warned him, letting Thor know that he knew exactly what their conversation had meant.

“Never,” Thor grinned, and kissed him again.

******

Kindergarten holidays rolled around, and Thor could not afford to trade away all his shifts during the week. He always tried his best not to bring Tomas in to work, but sometimes during these weeks it was unavoidable. He usually sat Tomas down at the counter with some crayons and sketchbooks and a juice box and hoped for the best.

His son was bafflingly well behaved, given his parentage, though Thor often worried that it was borne of shyness. He knew Tomas missed Sif terribly. He was thankful that Tomas was comfortable around Thor’s Taekwondo buddies, Hogun, Fandral and Volstagg. In recent months Tomas had also warmed to Steve Rogers and Bruce Banner, but still found Tony and the rest of the pack a little much at times. Thor knew this pained the pack considerably. They were working at it, but Thor could not bear to push Tomas too much.

Thor was a little worried that bringing Tomas in would draw awkward questions from Loki, and was not sure how Loki would respond to the news that Thor had a kid. Thor knew how it looked, a college student with a three year old child. He was not too proud to admit that maybe he had been young and irresponsible. But now he was young and responsible, and he had heard quite enough criticism of his recklessness and stupidity. He had no desire to hear more.

Thor could not help but remember that Loki was really not Mary Sunshine. Loki was not even that nice to Thor most of the time. He still called Thor an idiot sometimes, no matter how many times they went out to dinner or how many days in a row Loki came back at the end of Thor’s shift just so they could they kiss quietly in the storeroom.

But it was too bad. He had to bring Tomas in during the kindergarten holidays. He was prepared to shoulder the consequences. Loki would have to find out sometime anyway. Still, he was a little relieved when Loki did not show up the moment the shop opened that Monday. Maybe Loki wouldn’t come in at all. Yes, he’d miss Loki’s company, but at least then there would be no awkward conversation.

Except that when he came back from replenishing the lemon slices in the water jugs (which sat underneath the homemade “Help Yourself!” sign) Loki was there after all. Not only that, he was perched on the stool next to Tomas, apparently engaged in conversation.

Thor went over and tried to look casual.

“These are good crayons,” Loki was saying seriously to Tomas, who nodded in agreement. “Did you draw this all by yourself?”

“Yes, I drawed that, it’s a flower with a hat on and a bird,” Tomas informed him solemnly.

“It’s beautiful!” Loki said, beaming at him.

Thor was having trouble processing this. He wasn’t sure what was more surprising, that Tomas was happily interacting with a total stranger, or that Loki was being more emotive and genuine than Thor had ever seen him. But maybe Loki just didn’t have the heart to be nasty to a kid, and was just being polite or something. It broke Thor’s heart to even think that maybe Tomas had chosen the exact wrong person to get over his shyness with.

“Tomas, are you bothering Loki?” Thor interjected gently. He tried not to be amused when they both shook their heads vigorously.

“No, he’s really not,” Loki said, a bit too quickly.

Thor grinned at him, and then looked down at Tomas. “You want a refill?” he said, picking up the juice box.

Tomas considered this. “Can I have the pineapple one this time, Daddy?”

Loki’s eyes widened a little, as though he had suspected this was Thor’s son, but not known for sure. Thor tried to focus on Tomas. “Of course,” he said, going to fetch it. Tomas immediately turned back to Loki to discuss the various uses of the blue crayon, a topic which Loki apparently found riveting. Thor did not want to upset whatever delicate balance was happening there. He spent the rest of his shift cleaning things vigorously, and let his son unwittingly make friends with his boyfriend.

******

The first Monday after Tomas was back at kindergarten, Loki cornered Thor in the storeroom on his break. He fixed Thor with his coldest stare, crossed his arms, and said, “So you didn’t tell me you had a son.”

“You didn’t ask,” Thor said, which was true. In fact, Loki did not ask about Thor’s life very much at all. Loki was definitely going to have to share some of the blame for his ignorance of Thor’s family life.

“Consider this me asking,” Loki said icily. Thor thought this was probably the best, most polite request he was going to get from Loki under the circumstances, so he decided to tell Loki the story.

“I got married when I was 19. I was young, and we were in love. We thought we’d be in love forever. So when Sif got pregnant, a year later, we decided to have the baby. But you change a lot when you’re young like that. By the time we were 22 we just weren’t in love anymore. Usually we share custody, but earlier this year she got selected for the Olympic Taekwondo team. So for this year I’m a full-time single dad.”

He noticed that Loki’s face had softened a bit. That was encouraging.

“You didn’t get selected for the team?” Loki said, looking a little indignant on his behalf. “You’ve been national champion or runner-up for the last four years!”

“How do you know that?” Thor said, surprised. He had never said anything about it. Loki suddenly looked very guilty indeed.

“I…um, I may have Google-stalked you.” He said. “Answer my question!”

“When Sif was chosen, I took my name out of pre-selection for the men’s team,” Thor said. “Someone had to take care of Tomas, and the Olympics was Sif’s dream.”

“That’s really….” Loki said, trailing off. His face was serious now. “I mean, I —”

“You really don’t need to say anything, and I don’t want you to--” Thor started, trying to express that he did not want Loki’s sympathy and he did not want him to pretend to like Tomas, that he did not want Loki to engage with Tomas at all if Loki was going to turn sour with him at any moment. Thor could take rejection for himself but never, ever for his kid. Realising he’d trailed off, lost in thought, he looked back at Loki.

Loki’s face had gone stony in the meantime. “I understand if you don’t want me around your kid, okay,” Loki said, looking away and hugging his arms to his chest.

“I--what?” Thor said, confused, again.

“Can’t have sex workers around the children, threatening their innocence with our mere presence, infecting them with moral degeneracy through osmosis - I get it.”

“Loki, no! You think I---? No! Come on, would I ever say that?! I just don’t want you to feel obligated, and I don’t want you to get close to Tomas unless you are going to be there for…um, for a long time. And I don’t mind if you’re nasty to me when you have a bad day, but not with him.”

“I would never!” Loki said, suddenly animated and incensed, “I would never take a bad day out on a kid. How dare you even suggest that about me!”

“You take your bad days out on literally everyone else!” Thor half-shouted. “How was I supposed to know you have a moral code about it?”

“Oh my god, do you even know anything about me?”

“Yes! I do! I know a lot about you, because I ask about you! And you don’t ask about me and that’s why you get surprised by children. It’s your own fault.” Thor said, more softly than he’d intended to. Loki looked at the floor.

After a while he said stiffly, “If you ever suggest that I would mistreat a child again, I will break up with you.”

Thor goggled at him. “What? You know I wasn’t saying that! Be serious!”

“You be serious!” Loki snapped. Thor laughed, which made Loki glare at him.

“Sorry,” Thor said, “You’re usually a little better with comebacks than that, is all.” Loki looked a little less miserable at that. They stood in silence for a while. Thor made a gesture at the door - he was pretty sure he needed to get back to work. “I want you to know that I don’t expect anything from you,” he said, which he thought was as close as he could get to expressing all his conflicting thoughts.

“I like kids,” Loki said quickly, as though Thor had been about to suggest otherwise.

“I know, I saw,” Thor said. Loki flushed crimson and looked away.

“Whatever. I’ll go.” He picked up his bag and affixed his sunglasses firmly to his face. Thor still felt panicked. He did not know how to fix this situation. Sometimes Thor was not sure how anything worked in Loki’s brain.

But when Loki reached the door, Thor had an idea.

“Wait! Do you want to babysit? Sometime?” They stared at each other for a moment, and then a radiant smile nearly split Loki’s face in two. It was so pure, so involuntary, so utterly un-premeditated, that Thor had to laugh. Loki coloured again, but Thor thought the corners of his mouth were still turned up.

“Yes, I do. Okay. Fine. I’m going,” Loki said, doing a terrible job of trying to sound annoyed.

“Bye!” Thor called after him, and stuck his tongue out at him, because he could.

******

The end of the semester came before Thor was ready for it - but that was nothing new. Thor’s exams were over quickly, but Loki had one at the very end of the exam period and was in a constant state of stressed-out screechiness. Thor gave him some space, which he seemed to appreciate - not that he said anything, of course, but his mood did seem to improve. The day after Loki’s last exam, and thanks to a generous offer of babysitting from Steve (and assurance that Tony would not “help” him babysit), they went out to dinner at a Japanese restaurant that Loki liked.

As they were ushered to their table, Thor noticed Loki was walking a little differently. When Thor looked down, he saw that he was wearing high heels. They were black, with red soles, which inexplicably made them sexier. The high heels caused Thor’s brain to momentarily short out - which Loki immediately noticed, if his smirk was anything to go by.

“You look…really good,” Thor said, which he thought was eloquent under the circumstances.

“Thank you,” Loki said smugly, pretending to devote all of his attention to the menu.

Thor did not have to ask what Loki thought about how he looked, because when Loki was not perusing the menu he was looking at Thor in a way that strongly suggested he’d just as soon climb over the table and have Thor instead of dinner. But, when the waiter came to take their orders, he still had the presence of mind to order Thor a glass of umeshu, despite Thor’s protestations.

They chatted a little aimlessly for a while. When the food came, Thor tried to tell Loki about how Jane had gotten a call in the middle of her shift informing her she’d received a full fellowship for a PhD at MIT, and promptly freaked out and been unable to do anything for the rest of the day. However, he was not having much luck with that, because evidently Loki had taken off his shoes under the table, and one of his stockinged feet was rubbing against Thor’s left ankle. 

“So Darcy and I just gave her the rest of the shift off, because we —” Thor broke off as Loki’s foot began to meander up his calf, threatening to head in the vague direction of his thigh.

“Yes?” Loki prompted him, continuing to eat his sashimi as if nothing at all were amiss. Thor was pretty impressed by that, to be honest.

“We..uh, we could see how excited she was and she got a bit spaced out. It’s so awesome though, she deserves it so much!” He said, resolutely not thinking about what was happening under the table.

“How wonderful,” Loki said, in a tone that plainly communicated he didn’t actually care about Jane in the slightest.

“So, how was your week?” Thor said, hoping to make Loki lose his concentration. This, apparently, Loki took to be a challenge. He began recounting each of his exams in elaborate detail, and at the same time, massaging Thor’s inner thigh with the tips of his toes. Thor had never met anyone else who so obviously believed footsie was a game that had a winner.

“You are so shameless,” he muttered to Loki under his breath.

“You’re just figuring this out now?” Loki said, smirking. “Come on, this is minor league stuff.”

“Minor league!” Thor sputtered.

“Oh please, I’m barely touching you,” Loki said airily, eating a piece of sashimi with exaggerated primness. He still had his foot on Thor’s thigh.

“You are ridiculous,” Thor said, trying to turn his attention back to his noodles.

“Hey, you know what?” Loki had a gleam in his eye now. “You should come to one of my shows. Then maybe you’ll appreciate how much I tone it down for you in public.”

“Loki, a restaurant is fundamentally different to a strip clu— wait, what?” Thor said, as his brain caught up with him.

“Well, if you think you’d enjoy it, that is,” Loki said, sipping his drink and sounding as though he knew exactly how much Thor would enjoy it. Thor made a small strangled noise. He’d never had much of a poker face. “I have a shift next Saturday night, actually, if you want to come then.”

Thor was about to say yes, but something in his lust-addled brain was flagging next Saturday night as a bad time. He wasn’t sure what was…

Oh, no. Next Saturday was definitely the full moon. And while the pills ensured that he didn’t transform, he still made a habit of staying home over the full moon just to be safe. The drugs didn’t always prevent the heightened adrenaline and enhanced sensory perception that were part of the full moon’s effects. Thor had noticed that he often got emotional and made rash choices around that time of the month. Loki’s work was just about the last place he wanted to make bad decisions.

Loki was staring at him in obvious amusement, but Thor realised he would have to say something soon.

“I…I don’t know if I can get a babysitter,” he said weakly.

Loki cracked up. “Well, let me know when you know,” he said magnanimously, and went back to eating his sashimi and torturing Thor with the tips of his toes under the table.


	5. The Money Shot

Three days later, Thor still hadn’t made up his mind about whether to go to Loki’s show or not. He had been on the opening shift every day that week, and he had thought this would give him time to think the problem over in peace, but it wasn’t helping. He was starting to get worried that Loki would imagine the worst possible interpretation for Thor’s obvious reluctance. He knew how he would feel in Loki’s position, and Loki was about twice as paranoid and three times as insecure as he was.

He tried to think of some other reason he could give Loki to explain why this decision might be difficult for him, but he was really drawing a blank. There was nothing he could think of that he would be able to say with a straight face. He had never been a good liar, and he didn’t relish lying to people he cared about. In desperation, he started to consider actually telling Loki he was a werewolf.

On the surface, it seemed like a terrible idea. He really had no idea how Loki would react. Yes, lycanthropy was not such an unusual condition these days - but it was not common, and it was still not thought of as really acceptable. Thor knew that. On the other hand, he was surely going to have to tell Loki one day. He was not so foolish that he thought that Loki wouldn’t notice, if they were together, really together, like if one day they moved in together…

The hell of it was,Thor wanted to tell him. Thor had never liked keeping secrets. The next time he saw Loki, he decided, he was going to do it.

He had been slightly avoiding Loki for the intermediate period, and he felt bad about it. So when he had a moment in between the morning caffeine rushes, he texted Loki and told him he wanted to see him, that he was on shift that morning and that Loki was welcome to come and hang out.

When Loki came by a few hours later, Thor could tell he had already left it too long. Loki’s face was impassive, as though he were trying to give the impression that he was carved out of ice, though the thin line of his mouth was decidedly sullen.

“Hi,” Thor said, hoping he sounded casual.

“Hi,” Loki said murderously. Oh, great. Thor was going to have to cut to the chase.

“I — uh, can we talk for a second?” Thor could not remember feeling so awkward in a long time, but there was nothing else for it. Loki looked at him suspiciously, but followed him into the storeroom. He turned to face Thor, arms folded in front of him.

“I’m listening,” Loki said.

“I really want to come to your show,” Thor said, then cleared his throat. “A lot. You have no idea. But I can’t. Because this Saturday is the full moon...and I’m a werewolf.” He searched Loki’s face for what he feared most: disbelief, dismissive rejection, horrified panic. A minute went by that felt like an hour. Then Loki nodded.

“Thanks for telling me,” he said, a little stiffly.

“I mean, I’m on the pill, so I don’t transform or anything!” he blurted out. “But still, on the full moon, my senses are … different. It’s harder to control. But anyway, I mean, I understand if this changes things for you...” Thor said, trailing off, not sure what he wanted to say, unsure if anything would make it alright.

“It’s fine,” Loki said tonelessly, hunching his shoulders.

“Is it really fine?” Thor said warily, daring to hope the answer was yes, but wondering if this was simply the calm before the storm. Loki’s face was inscrutable for a moment. Then his mouth twisted into a grimace.

“I rather have to be, don’t I? More than a little hypocritical, otherwise.” For a moment, Thor was nonplussed. Loki was not a werewolf, he was sure of it, but then....

Seeing his obvious confusion, Loki added: “I’m a vampire.”

“....Huh.” Thor said, after a minute, when his brain had caught up with him. It made a lot of sense, actually. Thor wondered if Loki had the same worries he did. If he too was afraid of rejection because of what he was. If he too longed to be loved and desired and cherished, not because of his monstrosity and not despite it either. Thor had been lucky; he’d had that, once before, at least.

Back in the real world, Loki was bristling a little as Thor stood in contemplation, which Loki usually took to be slowness.

“Oh, don’t tell me you never noticed anything strange? Come on! Even with regular injections, my eyes are sensitive to sunlight. I’m not this pale just for fun, nor do I try to schedule all my work at night for fun! Also, I fucking sparkle in the sunlight! How did you miss that?”

“Uh...I thought that was just my imagination,” Thor admitted sheepishly.

“You thought what?” Loki half-shouted incredulously. But when the implications of Thor’s mistake hit him, colour started to bloom on his cheeks. “Oh! I …um. I see.” he finished weakly.

He was definitely hiding a smile now. Thor could see it in his eyes.

******

One day, Thor thought, he would be too old to be making out with his boyfriend in the storeroom at work. But it was not this day.

“You smell incredible,” Thor said, burying his face in the junction of Loki’s neck and chest, inhaling deeply. Loki squirmed in Thor’s lap and moaned a little.

“Oh! Do I?” he said, obviously fishing for compliments.

Thor groaned in response and sniffed him again, which was still apparently not enough validation for Loki. “Do I always smell great or is it just today?”

“Your ego is astounding,” Thor said into Loki’s neck, “And you always smell great.”

They made out for a few more minutes, until Thor’s break was almost over. Loki got off Thor’s lap and smoothed his own clothes and hair until he looked presentable, before doing the same for Thor. Then he hitched his bag over his shoulder, and said “I had better get going. Will I see you tonight?”

“I don’t know,” Thor said, a little miserably. He had not been able to make up his mind. It was an experience he had not had in a long time.

“It’s up to you,” Loki said, with uncharacteristic ease. This was not his usual tonelessness that indicated he was hiding his wounded feelings or concocting a horrible story about Thor’s motives in his mind. “It’s alright, either way. I know how it is to have to work around something like this.”

And maybe that was why, Thor thought. Maybe, this once, they were completely on the same page. Heck, maybe Loki had had to turn down wonderful things because he really couldn’t spend much time in the sunshine around people who weren’t infatuated with him, or who wouldn’t come up with some other reason why he was glowing ethereally.

“Thank you,” he said.

“Anytime,” Loki said wryly. Thor watched him leave the shop, feeling reassured, but no closer to a decision. There was only one thing for it: it was time to ask for advice.

******

“Let me get this straight,” Tony began with a flourish. “You’re on the pill. You’re completely safe at all times; you never transform. And now, out of some misplaced fear of the minuscule residual effects of the full moon, you are voluntarily absenting yourself from a striptease performed by ‘the hottest person you have ever seen in your life’? - Your exact words, I believe.”

Thor frowned. “When you put it like that, it does seem silly,” he admitted. Steve was frowning too, but with a lot more purpose and direction. In fact, his frown was directed at Tony.

“Now wait a minute,” Steve began. Tony rolled his eyes, but Thor looked at Steve attentively. “There absolutely is a risk that you will experience heightened senses and lowered impulse control during the full moon. You both know that!”

“Oh, please! So what!” Tony burst out, unable to contain himself. “If all of us stayed home when we had lowered impulse control, the concept of a bar as we know it - possibly humanity’s greatest achievement - would cease to exist! Lack of inhibitions? Chance of hypersensory experiences? Sounds like an excellent Friday night.”

Steve set his mouth in a line. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t go out, Thor. I’m just saying you should be aware of the risks, and be careful.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony said. “No risk, no reward! Come on, Thor, live a little! We’ll even babysit the kid for you!”

“If you do choose to go, I would be happy to babysit,” Steve said pointedly.

“Thank you both,” Thor said. His friends could always be relied on to provide their diverse views in these situations, and he really did appreciate it. It helped him sort out what was going on inside his own head at these times. He would have liked to stay longer, to ask them how they were going and hear about their lives, but he had to leave to pick up Tomas.

“What are you really worried about?” Tony asked him quietly, when Steve was out of earshot.

Thor was embarrassed to admit it. “I don’t want to … Tony, if I go, there is a serious chance I will jump on him in the back room of the strip club, or something equally foolish.”

“How do you know that’s not exactly his plan, huh?” Tony said, winking. Thor stared at him.

Well, that settled it. He was definitely going.

******

Thor had been to plenty of strip clubs, but not for a long time. Even finding the venue proved to be a challenge; it had been months since he’d been in this part of the city. The streets felt unfamiliar, though he was sure he had been there before. The entrance to the club was through an alleyway, which he found after a few minutes of meandering in a way he hoped was casual.

The inside was a little shabby, but not too bad as strip clubs went. Thor checked his watch as he made his way down the stairs: he was late. Loki would already be on. He was glad about that - sitting alone and awkwardly waiting would have been agony. He went to the bar and ordered a beer so that he would have something to do with his hands, then he carried it over to a table in the corner. From there, he had a decent view of the three different stages in the club, which he now properly looked at for the first time.

Loki was on the stage the furthest to Thor’s left. There was a girl on the stage in the centre, and a very muscular-looking dude on the right. Loki wasn’t wearing as much makeup as Thor thought he might have been - but what did Thor know? He’d mostly been to straight-oriented strip clubs before. Loki maybe had some mascara on, and some shiny gloss on his lips, but as far as Thor could see that was all. Still, with his hair slicked back, the effect was striking.

He was wearing what looked like very expensive women’s lingerie. There was a lacy black top with mesh panels, kind of like a corset but without any laces. His underwear was that same black lace and mesh combination. Thor was most interested in the sheer black thigh-high stockings held up by garters that clipped into a very ornate-looking garter belt. He also noticed that there were some seriously lethal-looking metal spikes decorating Loki’s silver high heels.

Thor kind of needed a moment to process this. He’d seen the appeal of lingerie before, of course, but this was another level. Loki looked sleek and intimidating, twisting himself around the metal pole in the centre of the stage. The combination of Loki’s lithe, muscular body and the intricate lingerie was androgynous perfection; as if Loki were not a man dressed as a woman, but some other kind of enchanting being all to himself. And however lewd and sinuous the motion of his hips was, the look on his face was one of aloof, haughty indifference. The combination was driving about half the audience totally out of their minds.

Thor watched, almost holding his breath; hoping fervently that Loki would notice him there, hoping equally hard that he wouldn’t. He figured it was unlikely anyway, what with the spotlight on Loki and the audience in almost complete darkness. Loki paused for a moment with his back to the audience, and then with agonising slowness he began to unhook the back of his lacy black top. The pale curve of his arched back was almost hypnotic.

When he turned around, Thor could see that his bare chest was adorned with swirls of tiny, clear crystals. Against his white skin, this made him look like a glittering ice creature. Thor thought of the time that he had seen Loki sparkling in the sunlight, and felt that this was not so different from that. The way Loki was contorting himself around the pole looked like it required some serious core support and upper-arm strength, which Thor admired in itself as well as for the smoothness of the motion. He felt transfixed; wasn’t sure if it was partially the effect of the full moon, his heightened senses, or if he would always have reacted so strongly to this.

Loki was on stage for what felt like a long time, but he never seemed to get tired or drop out of character - Thor decided that “potentially malevolent ice princess” was the character, although frankly, Loki fitted that description most of the time. After a while, Thor vaguely remembered to drink his beer. He didn’t get a second one, though; he had no desire to introduce a lot of alcohol into a situation in which he just barely had his wits about him anyhow. (This had not always been the case, so he felt very proud of himself for this wise decision.)

The wisdom of this decision became even more obvious when Loki undid one of the garters holding up his stockings. Then he undid the next, and the next, until they were all hanging from the garter belt, swishing a little as he moved. He turned around so that his perfect ass was on display, and started to roll down each of his stockings with that same tantalising slowness. He pushed them all the way down without bending his knees, so that when his hands were on his ankles he was bent almost completely in half at the waist, showing off the entire gorgeous expanse of his thighs and calves.

Loki stepped gracefully out of his heels so he could take his stockings all the way off, and the sight of his bare feet was somehow even sexier than the shoes. By now Thor was restless with arousal; it became an effort to sit still, he wanted to move, although he was not sure what exactly he wanted to do. He couldn’t do it anyway, so it didn’t matter, but in some corner of his brain he was seriously worried about the fog of lust that had descended over him. On the stage, Loki was shimmying off the garter belt, if it were even possible to shimmy while still affecting a cool indifference to everything.

Thor really wasn’t sure what he expected, but somehow it felt surprising when Loki’s fingers drifted to the waistband of his underwear and started to tease them all with the pretense of maybe, possibly, being about to take them off. The pent-up energy in the audience finally spilled over and people started clapping and cheering. Although his movements were still delicate, Loki was smirking now, the first indication that he really knew the effect he was having on his audience. Loki had them right where he wanted them, Thor thought - not just he himself, which was a foregone conclusion, but everyone watching.

After a few long minutes of this excruciating torment, Loki actually went for it, peeling himself out of the last scrap of black lace.

Underneath it, to Thor’s even greater surprise, was a very delicate pair of white underwear adorned with the same swirling patterns of crystals that decorated Loki’s torso. It was genius - it made him seem as if he really were smooth everywhere, an ethereal, genderless ice creature. Then Loki was twisting himself around the steel pole again in a completely obscene position. He was so beautiful that it made Thor faintly indignant. How could anyone be expected to keep it together in this situation, watching Loki?

All of a sudden Thor realised that he absolutely had to go outside and get some air and pull himself together soon, because he was definitely going to go and find Loki backstage after this. He really wanted to be less of a complete wreck when that happened.

He was pretty sure his situation wasn’t going to improve much, but he decided that making the effort was valiant in itself.

******

To get backstage, Thor had to explain who he was to a very unimpressed looking security guard. But he thought Loki must have told security that Thor might be coming, because the guy seemed to thoroughly enjoy making Thor uncomfortable, and he did let him inside eventually. He even gave Thor directions to the room the performers used to change in.

When Thor got there, the door was closed. But when he knocked he definitely heard Loki’s voice answering “Come in!” in response. Thor did. He was not sure what he expected, but from what he could see, Loki seemed to have removed his makeup. Also, he was wearing a little robe that barely covered his ass. Thor did not think there could be any point to that robe except to infuriate onlookers.

“Oh! You came.” Loki gave him a smile so open and genuine that it made Thor stop in his tracks. It also gave Thor a lot of feelings he was not really ready for, especially in his delicate and impaired state -- and oh god, this had been a really terrible idea, because they were completely alone now and he was definitely going to jump Loki in the dressing room, which probably violated many OHS regulations, but Thor did not care.

“You were great,” Thor said, because that was the thing you said when you saw someone’s show, right? And also, because, god, it was really hot in here, wasn’t it?

“Oh, thank you,” Loki said, without a trace of modesty.

“Are you finished for the night?” Thor said, hoping he sounded casual, 90% sure he absolutely did not.

“All done,” Loki smiled invitingly.

“I really did have to think hard about whether to come here tonight,” Thor said, which sounded a little pathetic, but he wanted Loki to know he hadn’t been jerking him around. “I didn’t want to impose on you and I was worried because…well, during the full moon, I don’t…I’m probably not as good at thinking things through before I act.”

Loki raised an eyebrow, smile still gleaming. “Shall we test that theory?” he said, and undid the front of his robe.

Oh, Thor was so screwed. Loki was completely naked, a sheen of sweat covered his skin, and he smelled of exertion and arousal. Thor wondered if Loki got aroused by stripping for a room full of strangers. He felt a stab of arousal himself, thinking of Loki getting turned on just from the attention.

He pinned Loki against the wall - a little more roughly than he’d intended, but Loki certainly didn’t look like he was going to complain. Thor leaned in, nose just under Loki’s jawline, and inhaled deeply. The scent was overwhelming, heady and rousing; Thor moaned helplessly. He had to kiss Loki, had to keep kissing him when Loki kissed back enthusiastically, winding his arms around Thor’s neck. Thor couldn't stop himself from turning the kiss rough, hard enough that it might hurt a little, pushing his tongue into Loki’s mouth. Loki made a very gratifying keening noise and pressed himself flush against Thor.

“You smell like sex,” Thor groaned.

“That makes no sense...” Loki said crossly, but his hands were clutching at Thor’s back, and he was rocking his hips against him.

“Mmm,” Thor murmured skeptically, sniffing Loki’s scent again. “I think you get off on having everyone’s attention....”

Thor started to lick Loki with the flat of his tongue, lapping at Loki’s neck. He could not have been entirely wrong in his hypothesis; Loki was gasping softly and working his hand into the back of Thor’s jeans with a kind of dazed mindlessness that Thor was proud to have inspired. He sucked a deep bruise into the side of Loki’s neck, and Loki moaned, arching responsively.

Loki stroked the flat of one hand down Thor’s torso and started massaging his cock through his jeans, making Thor groan again. “God, you’re fucking huge,” Loki said, “I knew you would be.” Thor knew it was probably bad to get off on that, bad and narcissistic and wrong, but he just could not bring himself to care. By that time Loki had got Thor’s pants unzipped and reached into his pants to draw out Thor’s dick, already flushed and hard. Loki licked a few wet stripes up his own hand, and started stroking Thor’s dick while they kissed again. 

“You… uh… I…” Thor panted, trying to collect himself although he wasn’t sure why, which was difficult in general.

“In case it wasn’t clear, I obviously think we should have sex now,” Loki said, which was a question Thor wasn’t aware he was trying to ask.

“Yes, good,” Thor said. Then he decided that Loki was far too coherent, so he started stroking Loki’s cock the way Loki was touching his, and for a moment it felt strangely like they were mirror images of each other, and then Thor couldn’t stay still and couldn’t help himself and had to put his mouth on one of Loki’s nipples. He sucked it, gently and first and then harder, and got a little shudder in response. When he pinched the other nipple, Loki moaned, which was extremely gratifying. Thor wanted more. He wanted to suck Loki’s cock.

Without really thinking about it, Thor dropped to his knees. This was apparently not a surprising turn of events to Loki, who immediately put one hand in Thor’s hair like Thor’s head belonged to him. It had been a while since Thor had had any sex at all, let alone sucking someone’s dick, but he was pretty sure he remembered how this worked. He licked the head of Loki's cock, because he wanted to, before taking his cock into his mouth and sucking. Loki moaned happily above him, and the sound went straight to Thor's dick. He took Loki’s cock deeper, moving his mouth up and down in short, sliding motions, and god, it felt so good. Loki moaned again, louder, and it made Thor so dizzy with power and want that he thought his brain was about to short-circuit. 

He tried taking Loki deeper into his throat, and found he could, and he was beginning to think he might be actually good at this, because Loki was starting to cant his hips in shallow thrusts. Thor put a hand on either side of Loki’s hips and held him in place. In retaliation, Loki grabbed Thor’s hair and pulled his head back. “Enough. Get up here and fuck me.”

“Have you got lube in here?” Thor said, pulling off and standing up, even though he was slow and hazy with lust. Looking extremely self-satisfied, Loki pulled a small tube out of the pocket of his robe.

Thor gaped at him. “You planned this the whole time, you devious bastard!”

“No shit,” Loki said, smirking down at him.

Thor slicked his fingers up and pressed one inside, which wiped the smirk off Loki’s face pretty quickly. He felt a little smug himself, now, as Loki’s mouth dropped open in a silent gasp and his eyes fell shut. Thor kissed Loki's shoulder and worked another finger inside him, making Loki arch his back. God, he was beautiful. Thor started fucking Loki with his fingers, slowly at first and then in short, quick motions, until Loki was panting and clutching at Thor's shoulders.

“Fuck me,” Loki breathed into his mouth, rubbing against him.

“Right here?” Thor said, hauling Loki up against him so he could get more of that incredible friction.

“Yes,” Loki said, as if this was obvious. He pulled a condom out of the pocket of his robe, opened it with his teeth (a move that Thor had literally never been able to pull off), and rolled it onto Thor’s dick. “Come on,” he said, impatiently, gesturing between them with an air of expectation.

Thor backed Loki up against the wall, and carefully put one of Loki’s legs over his hip, so he could line his cock up against Loki’s hole. He rubbed the head of his cock against Loki a few times, just to tease him, and --

“Unh...god, stop being so slow!” Loki whined. Thor gave him a smack on his thigh for being impatient, and apparently Loki was into that, because he moaned and shoved his hips against Thor again. And then Thor started pushing inside him, steadily, slowly. He stared into Loki’s eyes, because that was the kind of sappy guy he was, and he was surprised and delighted that Loki was staring back at him.

When he started to actually fuck Loki, though, Loki groaned and threw his head back against the wall. His hips were moving, and the noises he was making made Thor feel wild and hot. Thor had both hands under Loki, holding him up against the wall while he fucked him, and it was so fucking hot to be able to manhandle Loki exactly the way he wanted. Loki looped his hands around Thor’s neck and that made it even easier, even better, so that Thor had to crush their mouths together and kiss Loki while he fucked him against the wall.

Loki felt so good, Thor never wanted it to end. They were moving together so perfectly, Loki’s hips working him, meeting him on every thrust, like he was fucking himself on Thor’s dick. Thor wanted to fuck him forever, he felt as though he were getting even harder, it was so good, he could feel pressure building, it was almost agonising, it was —

“Wait, are you…what’s going on?” Loki said suddenly.

“Oh my god,” Thor whispered, feeling it too. “No. It can’t be. It’s not supposed to…”

“Thor, what the hell is that?” Loki said, an edge of hysteria in his voice.

“This isn’t supposed to happen!” Thor wailed miserably. “We only knot with people we’re bonded to!”

“What the fuck are you talking about, what does that even mean?” Loki shrieked.

“I mean soul-bonded! We should only knot with our….with our soulmates. I don’t know what…” he trailed off, then started again. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think I needed to tell you, I had no idea this would happen. I am so, so sorry.”

Loki, if anything, looked even more murderous. “How fucking dare you? I could be your fucking soulmate, you don’t even know! You should have told me! In fact — doesn’t this mean I’m your soulmate anyway, you fucking moron? And you should be so _goddamn lucky_ as to have me as your soulmate!”

This was so absurd that Thor started laughing.

“Will there ever be a problem you don’t think you can solve by yelling at me?” he said, hugging his arms around Loki a bit tighter and kissing him on the cheek.

“I guess we’ll have to stay together just to find out,” Loki said crossly. “Although, to really prove it rigorously, we’ll have to be together until I die.”

“Okay,” Thor said.

“Well, alright then,” Loki said. He seemed to be slightly mollified.


	6. Epilogue

“We’re going to be late, Thor,” Loki said, zipping up Tomas’ jacket.

“Give me a minute,” Thor said, trying to remember where he’d put his keys. He rummaged through the piles of stuff on the hallway table while Loki fussed around with Tomas’ scarf and beanie.

“Daddy’s very nervous about taking me to meet everyone,” Loki said conspiratorially to Tomas, smoothing down his blond curls. Tomas giggled.

“No, I’m not,” Thor said, because he was only a little nervous. “It’s gonna be fine. It’s just Sunday lunch at Steve’s place, like usual.”

Loki rolled his eyes dramatically and Tomas giggled again. Those two were as thick as thieves now, Thor reflected. This was great and also potentially concerning for Thor himself, since he could never say no to either of them and their combined powers were likely to be formidable.

“Check the pockets of your other coat,” Loki suggested to Thor, who was still looking for the keys while Loki was now buttoning up his own tremendously stylish pea-coat. Tomas attempted to help Thor by looking in the fridge. “No sweetpea, the keys aren’t in there,” Loki said, taking Tomas by the hand. “Oh no, where are your mittens?” he said, noticing that Tomas’ hands were bare, just as Thor found the keys (which were indeed in his other coat).

After a moment of searching for the mittens now, Loki located them on the couch, where Tomas had discarded them in apparent protest. “They’re too itchy,” Tomas said solemnly.

“It’s too cold outside,” Thor said, scooping Tomas up into a big hug and carrying him to the front door on his hip, even though Tomas was getting a little big for it. “You have to wear your mittens.” Tomas looked mournful, but dutifully put them back on.

It wasn’t too long a walk from Thor’s flat to Steve’s house, and it wasn’t actually that cold, but Thor wasn’t taking any chances. They walked slowly, Tomas in between Thor and Loki, holding onto each of their hands.

When they got to Steve’s apartment, Thor let Tomas press the buzzer. After just the right amount of time so that everything felt like normal, Natasha came downstairs to open the door for them. “Right on time!” She said, smiling sunnily. “Hi, I’m Natasha. You must be Loki,” she said to Loki. Thor was always so impressed by Natasha’s ability to be whatever a person needed at all times - well, when she wanted to be.

“Hello,” Loki said, apparently a little confused and suspicious of the sunny disposition. Which was so very like Loki, Thor thought, but which was in this particular case rather prudent, since Natasha could be brutal if you got on the wrong side of her.

“Come on up, Bruce is just taking the bread out of the oven,” she said, leading them up the narrow flight of stairs. By the time they got up to the apartment and removed their coats and scarfs, the bread was out on a wire rack cooling, with Bruce protecting it from a hovering Tony, who appeared to be trying to tear a bit off the end. Steve had one eye on that situation and the other on the pot of soup he was stirring, while Clint sat at the table drinking a beer and laughing at Tony’s failures.

Thor cleared his throat at the door. He had one hand holding Tomas’s hand and the other one holding Loki’s hand. “Hi,” he said.

“Oh hey there,” Steve said, abandoning both the situations he was monitoring to come and give Tomas a hug. “How are ya, buddy?”

“Good!” Tomas grinned up at Steve, a bit shyly. He was always a little nervous in front of so many people, even people he knew.

“And you must be Loki,” Steve said, shaking Loki’s somewhat unwilling hand.

“Nice to meet you,” Loki said, without much feeling. Well, Thor had been pretty sure this was how it was going to go. Actually this was on the more optimistic side of the possible scenarios.

“Lunch is just about ready,” Natasha called from her position as stand-in kitchen monitor in Steve’s absence.

“Please, come and sit down,” Steve said, gesturing to the table.

Thor got Tomas seated on one side of him and Loki on the other, and it kind of made him wish there were three of him so he could sit on each of their other sides too. He really, really hoped this was going to go well. For all of their sake’s.

It started out reasonably well. After a round of awkward introductions, the conversation flowed pretty normally, although Loki was not really participating. But the food was delicious as always (Bruce was a culinary genius) and the usual debrief of their respective weeks was as fun as it usually was. Natasha had just got a promotion at work, which she completely deserved, and Bruce and Tony were getting close to cracking whatever problem they had been working on for the past few months (Thor had not understood it when it had been explained to him, and therefore had trouble remembering anything about it).

“Did you have a good week, too?” Tony asked Tomas, who nodded happily.

“This week we saw seven squirrels in the park! And I made a macaroni drawing, and I made a paper hat,” Tomas reported dutifully.

“Sounds great,” Bruce said.

“Oh! And Loki took me to the zoo, and he took me to the store also. And also, we made dinner one night and I helped.” Tomas said, scrunching up his face as he was trying to remember if that was it or if he had more to say.

“Did he? It’s great that you have so much free time,” Tony said, directed at Loki now, and heavy on the suspicion.

“Well, I mostly work nights,” Loki said simply.

“Oh, do you prefer the —” Bruce started to ask, but Thor could see where this was going, and he was either going to have to explain to his friends that Loki was a stripper or that Loki was a vampire, and he wasn’t sure which was going to be more difficult, but he decided to go for the one that he could easily explain to his three-year-old son on the walk home.

“Actually, uh, Loki is a vampire,” Thor said, looking around at their faces to see their responses.

“Oh, right — see, I was wondering what was behind the whole gothic twinkerbell look you’ve got going on,” Tony said, apparently feeling he could abandon all pretenses of civility.

Thor sincerely hoped that was going over Tomas’s head and that he would not have to explain what “twinkerbell” meant to his three year old. Steve and Bruce looked mortified; Clint looked amused, Natasha looked interested in Loki’s reaction.

Loki gave Tony a shark-like smile, “Actually, there’s no dress code for being undead.”

“Well you probably can’t see yourself when you get dressed anyway, no reflection and all,” Tony said, with fake concern.

“You know that’s just an urban legend,” Bruce said, before Loki could get a word in.

“Uh-huh,” Tony said, slurping his soup loudly.

“So, Loki, Thor tells me you met at the coffee shop?” Clint said, changing the subject.

“Yes,” Loki said, and continued eating. Thor decided to fill the silence with the story of how they met, which he altered slightly to be more flattering to Loki. Loki narrowed his eyes at him every time Thor glossed over just how nasty Loki had been — although really, did Loki expect him to tell the unvarnished version to his friends, in front of his three-year-old son? Surely not. Thor figured he was just being pissy for the sake of it, probably, and because he felt uncomfortable and judged or something.

The rest of the meal passed relatively uneventfully, with Thor and Steve trying desperately to keep the conversation civil, and Loki fussing a little bit over Tomas in what was clearly a display of territoriality. After the meal, Thor offered to help clear up. Everyone usually pitched in anyway, and the party usually moved to the kitchen as a result, although Loki apparently felt this meant he could loiter around the kitchen doing nothing but entertaining Tomas.

As soon as Steve was out of earshot, though, Tony went back to needling Thor.

“So you’re not worried about Loki feeding on helpless mortals or anything?” Tony said to Thor, totally ignoring Loki, who was standing right there.

“Actually,” Loki cut in, before Thor could respond, “We have an injection for that, it’s been on the market for a while -- but thanks for your totally false concern. You know, this would go a lot better if you ditched the whole Team Jacob angle and just accept that Thor might want to date a slightly different kind of monster.”

Tony burst out laughing.

Loki looked surprised, but Thor wasn’t. Tony was the kind of guy who just needed to be told to fuck off sometimes, and if you did it right, that might be all it took to get him on your side. Thor was grinning too, and Loki’s face was wavering between smiling and looking pissed off, which was about as good as Thor could have hoped for it to get.

“Your whole too-bored-for-this-world shtick isn’t helping either, you know,” Tony said, patting Loki on the shoulder conspiratorially. Loki made a face, but didn’t say anything. Still, Tony didn’t needle them anymore after that, which was nothing short of miraculous. Thor wasn’t sure he’d even dared to imagine that the day would go this well. Actually, he certainly had dared to imagine it would go really well, because that was the kind of guy he was.

At some point, Clint had taken over the washing up. Thor had nothing to do now but stand next to Loki in the kitchen, bumping him with his elbows and grinning at him to communicate how well it was going. Loki raised his eyebrows to indicate that Thor was being ridiculous. But he looked a little happier and more relaxed.

Eventually, Tomas came and tugged on Thor’s sleeve and whispered that he wanted to go home. Thor did not know how he had ever got so lucky with that kid, but there it was. Loki went to fetch Tomas’s coat and scarf and mittens and beanie, and Tomas accepted being bundled up in them with much less fuss this time.

They said their round of goodbyes with a much less frosty demeanor on Loki’s part than the hello’s had been. They clambered down the stairs together; Thor was holding Tomas’s hand with one hand and Loki’s hand with the other. It wasn’t as awkward as it could have been. In fact, it wasn’t awkward at all.

Through the window in the door of the apartment building, they could see snow starting to fall. Loki opened the door for Tomas, who paused and frowned.

“Everything alright?” Loki asked him gently.

“Pffhhh,” Tomas huffed. “I’m sooo full! How can I ever walk home?”

“Same way we do every time, little man,” Thor said, beaming down at him as he ushered them all out the door. “One foot in front of the other.”


End file.
